Weak Wagoner Stomachs

I'll have you know, I love my mother. I also love my grandfather, and all the Wagoners before him. But I wish I could have gotten a "hoblit" stomach. See the "wagoner" stomach can't handle anything. Dairy is a struggle for me (although I LOVE it well enough to deal with the consequences sometimes). So are shots and anything else medical or bloody related or gory. See, this is what this whole blog post is about: shots!

Levi and I are going to Haiti this Thursday for 2 weeks with a team from Vineyard. (pray for us) I went to the Health Department (with Mom. Even though I am married and all, my mom still has to sign for me since I'm 17. They really need to change that!) last Thursday to get Hep A and Hep B. (that got switched to Hep A, Typhoid, and Tetanus boost) Anyhow, I don't like shots. They don't really hurt, they're just scary. So I'm sitting in the waiting room for what seems like "ever" doing what they call "an-tis-er-pate-n". We then get moved into the next room. If I was to label it, I'd call it the "Cost-er-fobia room". I'm still doing all the "an-tis-er-pate-n" that's expected for me and waiting while the nurse tries to sell me on more shots and pills... and college (she didn't understand that I have a nice job as an office manager now, but long term, a full time job changing dippers, cleaning service, laundry-mat runner, interior decorator, and chef for a family of, well, any unknown amount let’s say... under 6, will keep me quite busy and happy). Anyhow, she ended up giving me three shots, two in one deltoid, and one in the other deltoid. I didn't like it, just as usual. Mom then asks the nurse, "When you give the shots do they swallow the needles?" I later realized the syringes swallow the needles, not my arm. That realization offered some comfort. But not enough to stand up... I just decided to sit a little longer. Once I was cross-eyed and white the nurse realized that maybe I might be passing out. So she runs to get an ice pack and water. She came in just soon enough to catch my torso from toppling over my knees. I then start twitching (which husband says is typical for me, esp. in my sleep). However the twitching part is where Mom starts literally freaking out. (I had a friend who got epilepsy from immunizations) In fact she got so nervous she had to sit down. By this time I had come to it enough to realize Mom was going from it. I was still quite weak when she went out. The nurse was fanning us with her clipboard, switching the ice-pack from my neck, to Mom’s, to mine, to Mom’s, and trying to keep us both supplied with water from the little Dixie cups that hold one swallow. We ended up sitting in the "Cost-er-fobia room" longer than the waiting room, I do believe.

Anyhow, that’s the story of my April Fool’s day. Oh, and my brother sent me some e-mail about how some tech school was going to shut down the internet for a day to spring clean it. But I don’t know too much about techy stuff and it was written in a highly-techy manner so, he got me! Good job, Brad!

(This is me and him, taken my our other brother... I love them both oodles of amounts. They're the best big brothers a girl could ask for, really. In fact, they played Barbies with me! Usually that consisted of putting Ken and Barbie in my favorite pink convertible and pushing it with zeal so it would brutally wreck against, well, anything- they didn't care what it was they wrecked against, they just thought it was funny to see Ken and Barbie get thrown out of the car. I didn't even deserve this. I rarely picked on them. And if I did, and they picked back, I wouldn't have told on them to Mommy.)


  1. Aw girl I'm so sorry! I'm a weakling too. :)

  2. *Laughter*

    This is a funny one. :)

  3. I know it's not funny, but I'm laughing!
    Nice job telling the story, I quite enjoyed it :)

  4. Oh Lauren this is hysterical! It's totally something that would happen to my mom, and I. And Megan if she were there! My queasy family has certainly had some "share the ice pack" experiences. Those are the times that are (at least to me) nauseatingly terrible in the moment, but incredibly funny later!
    P.S. I'm so glad to read your Haiti post and hear that all is going well!


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